


Counterpart

by Lannakitty



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Mpreg, trope subverting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-24
Updated: 2010-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-06 15:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lannakitty/pseuds/Lannakitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Elizabeth find out they're expecting, but Elizabeth isn't the one pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counterpart

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://oparu.livejournal.com/profile)[**oparu**](http://oparu.livejournal.com/), who is more awesome than I can say.
> 
> Fluff and angst. This is a continuation/full fic expansion of the 5x thing I did. I've never really done a fic like this before, but I think it worked out well.

"Rodney, I'm fine," John protested from somewhere in the infirmary.

"You fainted!" Rodney pointed out, torn between amusement and concern for his friend. Ronon's low chuckle carried across the room.

"I did not!" John protested. "I'm _fine_."

Elizabeth paused at the door. She could hear the pout in John's voice. She'd been in her office when Rodney had called her, rambling something about John fainting in his lab, and couldn't he have done it in a more convenient place? But it was entirely not his fault since none of his experiments induced dizziness or fainting and Ronon was escorting him to the infirmary and Rodney was sure John was okay, so could she please not hurt him?

Elizabeth rounded the corner, following the voices and found John reclined on one of the infirmary beds. Rodney was hovering near the foot, his hands gestured wildly in the air as he paced. Ronon sat on the bed next to John's, legs idly kicking in the air. He offered Elizabeth a welcoming smirk.

"Excuse me, but I'm the one who went to medical school. I'll tell you when you can get up.," Jennifer Keller replied, placing a hand on John's chest and pushing him back onto the bed with minimal effort. John stifled a groan as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Elizabeth's eyebrows knit together as she moved forward, gently moving the still ranting Rodney to one side so she could take John's hand. He looked a bit green and a little guilty. They'd planned to take the day off tomorrow together, but it looked like their plans were changing.

"Hey there," Elizabeth said, drawing gentle fingers through his unruly hair then down to the side of his face so she could cup his cheek. John was rarely sick, she'd learned. It took a serious bug to get him to look this awful. She hoped he hadn't picked up something exotic off world.

"Hey- Ow!" John yelped as Jennifer drew some blood. "Some warning would be nice next time," he groused as she finished the quick, if somewhat painful procedure.

Jennifer clucked at him with a small headshake. "Don't be such a baby," she teased. She handed the sample off to one of the nurses. She swabbed the small wound with antiseptic, put a bandage on the cut and folded his arm up.

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked John. Her thumb brushed the side of his cheek then dropped down to join her other hand in clasping his.

He shrugged minutely and let his head fall back onto the bed's pillow, eyes closed. "I don't know. One minute I was asking Rodney something about when Jumper seven will be ready to fly again, and the next minute it was like someone turned up the gravity." John scowled speculatively at Rodney. "You didn't turn up the gravity on me, did you?"

"What? No! Why would I do that? You were bothering me for an almost legitimate reason this time." Rodney retorted.

John rolled his eyes and was gearing up to reply, but moaned suddenly and sank back into the bed.

"Feel better soon, 'kay?" Ronon said, as he hopped off the bed. He clapped John's shoulder in a brotherly way and gave McKay a pointed look.

"Right, right. Feel better ok?" Rodney said. He reached out to touch John's shoulder then seemed to think better about it halfway. Not wanting to catch whatever it was that John had, he settled for a little wave. John's teammates left the couple alone, waiting for Keller to return with her preliminary test results.

"I'm sorry," John apologized. "I was really looking forward to having some time off, just you and me, the bed and that bottle of wine I managed to smuggle back with me the last time I was on Earth." He sighed, "I finally get you to okay some time off for the both of us and I get sick."

Elizabeth smiled softly and squeezed his hand. "I'll just have to play nurse," she suggested playfully. John's replying look started as a lecherous leer, but turned into a pale, slightly terrified look as his stomach churned.

Elizabeth looked around for Jennifer or one of the nurses or for something John could be sick in. She managed to force a spare bedpan into his hands with only moments to spare.

The sound of John retching brought the nurses to his side. Elizabeth stood back as they traded his bedpan for a more appropriate container and exchanged medical jargon in hushed tones. She wanted to help him, but she didn't want to get in the way. A slight sheen of sweat had formed at his temples.

When John's stomach had rid itself of his lunch and what little undigested breakfast it had once contained, the nurses helped him peel off his clothes and get into some infirmary scrubs. They gave him another container to be sick in and left them with reassurances that Dr. Keller would be back soon.

Elizabeth pulled over one of ubiquitous high stools in the Infirmary and rubbed small circles on John's back. He listed to one side and finally ended up with his head on her shoulder. Elizabeth wrapped an arm around his shoulders and drew her fingers through his hair. John made little unhappy whines as he tried to fight the nauseous feeling.

This was how Jennifer Keller found them ten minutes later when she returned. She watched them for a moment before clearing her throat when they didn't notice her.

"I got the test results," Jennifer said when she had their attention. She frowned at John and began explaining what had taken her so long "I ran them three times to be sure, but I always got the same result. Congratulations Colonel Sheppard, you're pregnant."

"What?" John and Elizabeth asked together, neither one believing what they'd heard.

"I want to get you under a scanner," Keller told him as she started to help John off the bed.

He groaned and retched into the clean bucket the nurses had given. His black shirt was growing damp and Elizabeth was not blind to the worried expression Keller was giving John. Elizabeth stepped into his side and held him as he dry-heaved into the container. She tucked her face into his neck to avoid the smell, which was making her feel nauseated as well. Filling her senses with the scent of John's aftershave helped.

When he was finished being sick, Elizabeth came around to John's other side and helped him slowly get off the bed and shuffle over to the scanner.

"Doc?" John asked as he sat on the scanner bed, "Uhm, I'm not the expert, but last I checked I wasn't the one who," he paused, "you know," he finished lamely.

"Got knocked up?" Elizabeth supplied in a hushed tone, trying to get John to laugh. She needed a bit of humor as well. The situation was, frankly, bizarre. "How did this happen?" she asked Jennifer.

"I'm not even sure my results are accurate," Jennifer told her as she began the scan. She offered Elizabeth a wry look, "and honestly? Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?"

Elizabeth shrugged helplessly, crossed her arms, uncrossed them then crossed them again. She was unsure what to do with herself while Keller scanned John. She settled for cupping her elbow with one hand and biting her knuckle lightly while she watched John.

The green light passed over his body, making him wince when it hit his eyes. "Find anything yet?" he asked. "Like, how you're completely wrong?"

"Let the scanner do its thing, and we'll see," Jennifer placated, "In the meantime I'd like you to think about anything you've touched or been near that might have caused this."

"Well, he was with the group exploring the south pier yesterday. Did you see anything there?" Elizabeth asked.

"No," John said. "It was pretty boring. A lot of empty rooms and some dead plants. Some dust."

"Dust?" Jennifer questioned.

"The normal kind. Rodney tested it," John muttered from the bed. "We were both off-world about a couple days ago. Think it was something in the air there?" John asked, looking at Elizabeth.

"The planet seemed normal enough, though," Elizabeth said, shrugging. "There were some ancient ruins, but I didn't notice anything active. We both know Rodney would have been over any potential energy signatures. No one else has had any problems."

"There weren't any flashes of light there either," John added.

"Flashes of light?" Jennifer asked.

"Yeah," John smirked, "There are always flashes of light," he told her sagely.

"Well, flashes of light or no, you're pregnant," Jennifer told him. "It's actually amazing. I've never seen anything like this," she said, smiling slightly. However it had happened, it was unprecedented and intriguing.

"Really?" John asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. Elizabeth lightly touched his shoulder, trying to get him to relax. She massaged it gently with her fingers.

"So, is there something there?" Elizabeth asked, curious.

The green bars of light had settled on John's abdomen. John looked down and glared at them. He'd seen aliens. The scene with the chest-buster kept playing over and over in his mind. Well, at least they knew early enough and they could keep that from happening.

He hoped.

Craning his neck forward was beginning to hurt, so he lay back and watched Elizabeth stare at his stomach. She was trying to wear her diplomatic face, but mixtures of emotions were peeking through. Elizabeth looked concerned, maybe a little afraid, and a couple others he couldn't readily identify.

"It appears to be about four weeks developmentally. If you give me another moment, I can tell you more,' Jennifer said. The Ancient scanners were very powerful and could actually scan DNA. It took a few moments to work, but it was well ahead of Earth technology.

"Wait, so this isn't some kind of alien?" John asked.

"Nope. The scanner's still working, but it's human," she told him. "Let me get a picture."

Elizabeth's fingers tightened on John's shoulder and he reached up to grasp her hand. He looked up at her and tugged on her fingers to get her attention. She looked down at him.

"Think I'll win the "The weirdest shit happened to me" award this year?" he asked.

She chuckled. "Dr. Madras as his singing parasite will be disappointed."

"Here we go," Jennifer said as she turned on another monitor. The image on the screen looked more like some kind of marine animal than a human. "This is what the scanner's seeing."

"How is this possible?" Elizabeth asked.

"Well, there appears to be some sort of womb structure that's formed around it. There are also a couple extra organs that are driving your hormone levels up," Jennifer addressed John, "but it's definitely a four-week old fetus."

"Where did it come from?" Elizabeth asked. John was staring at the monitor. Jennifer was studying her computer.

"That's a good question," she told her. "I don't know yet, but I do know that it has the ATA gene." Jennifer's brows arched as more data came in. "However it got there, it's yours John."

"It is?" John asked. The curled figure on the monitor was suddenly at once less and much more frightening.

"It is. Elizabeth? I'd like to run it against your DNA and take some of your blood," Jennifer said as she walked over to a medical cabinet and unlocked the door to get to the supplies.

The fingers on John's shoulder stilled. "My blood?" Elizabeth asked. "You think that it's mine?"

"Hey," John said, looking up at her from his prone position on the bed "It's not Lorne's," he told her cheekily.

Elizabeth gave him a dirty look before the ghost of a smile graced her lips. She leaned down to give him a quick kiss. John's hand came up and found hers. "

We have a very weird life," he mused, bringing her knuckles to his cheek.

Sensing he was more freaked out than he was letting on, Elizabeth turned her hand over so she held his face and messaged his scalp with the other to help calm him. She could empathize. She was feeling very disturbed as well. Elizabeth drew her nails through his unruly hair and smiled down at him in what she hoped was a reassuring way. In her chest, her heart pounded. This was beyond bizarre, even for Atlantis.

Jennifer returned with a tray and Elizabeth offered her arm. She felt detached as she watched the small tube fill with her blood. Jennifer pressed a sterile pad into the crook of her elbow, then secured it in place with an adhesive. Elizabeth avoided looking at the monitor and watched Jennifer work with the sample instead.

"It doesn't look human," John commented, drawing her attention back.

Elizabeth looked critically at the screen. "No, it doesn't," she agreed. She left him briefly to push a chair over then resumed her place sitting by his side.

"This is really weird, isn't it?" John said, frowning in a completely adorable way.

She brushed her thumb over his knuckles and nodded. "This is not how I pictured my day when we woke up this morning," she admitted.

They lapsed into an awkward silence while Jennifer busied herself on the other side of the room.

Elizabeth's hand found its way back into John's hair. She could feel him relax under her touch and that made her feel marginally better. For his sake, Elizabeth tried to project calm, but her inner thoughts were anything but. She watched the strange marine-like creature on the monitor and noted with sickening realization that the steadily pulsing bit was probably its heart. Elizabeth closed her eyes and began a meditative breathing exercise Teyla had taught her. She was determined not to panic, but she wanted to.

John tried to relax on the table. He knew Elizabeth was trying to cope by trying to keep him calm. Her serene diplomatic armor was on and while that might have fooled someone else, it didn't fool him. John knew her too well to know that she was anything but calm.

Since Keller had told him it was both human and his, he'd actually relaxed a bit. It was still completely bizarre and, truth be told, he was having some major "cognitive dissonance" as Heightmeyer would have called it. He didn't feel any different. Well, he was feeling sick, but that wasn't new. But he was…Pregnant.

It was something so completely out of the realm of the male experience he didn't know how to handle it exactly. A part of him wanted to run from his own body, but another part kept repeating that they'd figure out what the hell had happened, and fix it. He couldn't do anything but remain calm and let the people around him work it out.

John frowned. How would they fix it? He looked up at Elizabeth. If it was theirs he didn't want to...kill it. They'd never talked about kids, but he had to admit he'd thought about it occasionally. If it was his and some unknown persons? Well, he wasn't so sure on that.

"It's yours Elizabeth," Jennifer said, answering the questions John had been silently pondering. She watched Weir's eyes go wide for a moment before she schooled her features again. "I'd like you and John to trade places on the scanner bed, please," Jennifer asked gently.

"W-why?" Elizabeth stuttered slightly.

"Your blood sample came up positive on a pregnancy test as well. I want to see if, well, there's anything in there," Jennifer smiled at her apologetically. "If there isn't then it might solve the mystery of where your baby came from."

"Oh," Elizabeth said, robbed of words for the moment.

John got up and the room swam. Elizabeth was immediately out of her seat, helping him hang on while the room spun. Focusing on him helped her deal with the situation, so she let him cling to her jacket and bury his face in her neck. He finally relaxed and gave her a weak smile. He slid off the bed and gave her a hug.

"We'll be okay," he whispered before releasing her.

That was so typical, she thought. He was the one who was physically ill and he was still trying to comfort her. She felt herself getting a little choked up so she busied herself with getting onto the bed and lying back. Elizabeth closed her eyes and waited for the scan to complete.

John collapsed into her chair and watched the green crossbars of light scan over her.

"Nothing," Jennifer said as she looked over the scan images. "I think we can surmise that you were pregnant Elizabeth, and something has somehow moved the baby into John," she turned off the scanner and Elizabeth sat up slowly. John got up off the chair and sat next to her on the bed.

His hand found hers and she looked at him with a lost expression. He felt the same way. They leaned into one another for support.

Jennifer came over to them, expression solemn.

"I don't know how it happened, but I won't lie, I think this is serious," she told them. "Elizabeth, you're still coming up as positive on the tests but you could have stopped producing those hormones already and if we don't do anything we'll see them fade. That's bad if we find out how to move it back into you and you're body's already forgotten it was pregnant." She said sadly, "I'm not sure we could replicate the hormonal conditions you'd need to continue the pregnancy."

"John?" Jennifer shook her head, mystified. "John whatever happened put in a uterus-like structure into your abdominal cavity," she blinked in surprise as John began to laugh. Elizabeth's eyes slid over to Jennifer's and her brow arched. The women both wondered if he'd lost it.

"Sorry," John said, wiping a tear form his eye. "That was just," he trailed off shaking his head. "Oh C'mon! This is weirder than," he searched for the weirdest incident to date, "weirder than when Cadman was in McKay's body." His expression sobered, "And neither of them can know about this. Ever."

"Well," Jennifer said, "Dr. McKay might have to be informed. If we want to undo this," she shrugged, "we might need his help. In fact, we probably _do_ need his help."

"Aw," John complained a bit pathetically. Rodney would tell. He'd promise under pain of death no to, but he would somehow. John didn't want that level of teasing. He was fairly certain that his ego could take it, but he _really_ didn't want to deal with it. He also didn't want Elizabeth to have to deal with it. This was a private matter between the two of them. Or at least it should have been.  
Elizabeth smirked at him and put a consoling hand on his thigh.

The doctor shook her head. "I'm serious," she sighed. "John, your body wasn't built for this, and as it is, you've been suddenly hit by the hormones of a woman carrying a four-week old fetus. That is going to be rough for you to acclimatize to. Aside from the hormonal changes, there are dramatic changes in your blood pressure. Right now you've got low blood pressure. That's why you fainted earlier." She shook her head sympathetically, "You're going to have all the symptoms of a first-trimester pregnancy. I won't lie, it's going to be hard. Today was just the beginning."

"So what are you saying, Doc?" John asked.

"If you're able to keep it, and I'm not certain you can, it will have a significant impact on your health," she said seriously.

John looked at her askance, "And by significant impact you mean?"

"Well, the worst case is that you could die from this," she said.

"What?" John asked. Elizabeth gasped.

Jennifer held up a hand. "I actually don't think it would come to that unless you kept it. I don't even know if you _can_. But I want you to know that severed complications are a possibility here."

"Why?" John asked. "I mean," he trailed off. "Aw, hell. So what do we do?"

"Well, I'd really like to get Dr. McKay up here to discuss when and where this could have happened." Jennifer said, ignoring John's pout.

"Call him," Elizabeth told her. Keller nodded and touched her radio to call Rodney back to the infirmary.

Elizabeth kissed John's cheek in apology. "We need to know what happened," she said.

John nodded unhappily and leaned heavily against Elizabeth. His stomach was churning again.

By the time Rodney returned, John was curled on his side on the bed, fighting another extreme bout of nausea. Elizabeth sat in the chair, running her fingers through his hair, feeling useless.

"Oh God, what's wrong? Is it contagious?" Rodney asked when he saw John looking miserable on the bed.

"No," Jennifer assured him, "but we need your help figuring this out."

"What happened?" Rodney asked. Jennifer blushed and Elizabeth suddenly found John's hair fascinating. John looked like he was busy trying to focus on not being sick.

Jennifer Keller took a deep breath. "Dr. McKay," she said sternly, "This is a sensitive matter and I think we'd all appreciate it if you promised to be discreet."

"I can be discreet!" Rodney protested. "What is it?"

"Colonel Sheppard is pregnant."

There was a moment of complete silence before Rodney loudly said "What?" John and both women flinched.

Keller recovered then immediately clamped a hand onto Rodney's arm with a stern expression. "Shh," she ordered.

Startled by the intensity of Keller's glare, Rodney was silent but only for a moment. "Wha- What happened? Oh god, is it alien? How did he?" Rodney straightened and glared at Sheppard. "You didn't cheat on her did you?" he shook an accusatory finger at John.

John groaned and buried his head into the thin pillow on the bed. He didn't need this on top of everything else.

"Because if you Kirked around on Elizabeth, well, it serves you right and I don't think I want to help. In fact I think-"

"Rodney," Elizabeth broke into his tirade sternly. McKay abruptly stopped and looked at her with concern and compassion.

"Rodney, it's mine," she told him calmly.

Rodney's eyes grew huge as he digested this fact. He looked from one to the other then his lips quirked in a small half grin.

"You guys are gonna have a kid? That's well, kinda cool? Yeah, I think that's nice," Rodney decided, speaking to himself. He smiled thoughtfully. "You know you guys are probably the closest people I've been to who've had one? A kid I mean? Well, aside from my sister but we weren't speaking then, so it doesn't really count," he amended sheepishly.

Rodney paused as another thought occurred to him. "Can I be an uncle?" he asked with a heartbreakingly hopeful expression. "Not a real one, I'm already one of those and I think Madison really likes me. Jeannie says she thinks I'm cool. But can I be like one of those honorary uncles? I'd be really good at it."

Rodney paused again and his eyes narrowed at John. " How exactly did _you_ end up the one pregnant?" he asked, pointing a finger at him again.

"That's what we want you to find out!" John retorted before moaning and curling into a tight ball. Shouting at Rodney was not a good idea.

Elizabeth stroked his back and side and murmured soothing noises as John fought back the nausea.

"Wow, he's really sick," Rodney said, looking at Jennifer with genuine surprise.

She nodded solemnly. "He is. It was moved from Elizabeth into John. She's still coming up positive on the tests so it had to have happened recently." Jennifer twisted her hands together and watched John with concern. "This is very unhealthy for John and if we can move it back, that's the best thing. But we have to be quick or Elizabeth's body chemistry will change enough she can't support it anymore."

"You don't think it was the dust, do you?" Rodney asked John, who rolled his eyes. "Right. No. No one else has been sick?" Rodney asked, turning back to Jennifer.

Jennifer shook her head. "No. if something happened to anyone else, they haven't come down here yet."

Elizabeth tuned Jennifer and Rodney out as he began to rapidly ramble about potential locations where this could have happened. She was certain they'd figure something out.

"Hey," she said, rubbing John's shoulder. He looked up at her with a bleary eye. He seemed to be improving because he was relaxing on the bed. She didn't like seeing him in pain, but this was somehow much worse than seeing him after he'd been shot at, fed on or otherwise maimed in the course of duty.

"I want to go home," John groused.

"I don't know that Jennifer will let you go home. I don't know she'll let either of us go," Elizabeth admitted. A part of her was grateful for that fact, since it meant they didn't need to discuss the reality of their situation. John wouldn't want to have that conversation in the infirmary, and truth be told, she didn't want to have it here either. She didn't want to have it at all, but the infirmary was a reprieve.

"Make her?" John asked, jokingly. Elizabeth smiled and relaxed a little. If John could joke, he was probably feeling better than he looked. As if to prove her point he sat up carefully. "Doc, can I go home?" he asked.

Jennifer shook her head, "Colonel Sheppard, I want to monitor you. Your," she paused, "condition is unprecedented and potentially unstable."

"Doc? I'll keep my radio with me," John promised. He looked at Elizabeth then back at Jennifer. "Can't we just go home? I promise I won't do anything else. Except maybe throw up," he amended.

Jen looked at them both critically. Elizabeth looked worse than when she'd come in, but Jennifer couldn't blame her. She was holding it together better than John was, but barely. Jennifer realized they probably wanted to talk so she sighed in defeat. She couldn't do anything for John at the moment anyway.

"Fine," Jennifer said. "You can go home, or to the mess hall if you feel up to food." Off John's sick look she added "You can come back here if you feel like things are getting worse or if you think something is wrong."

"I'll check in on him every hour," Elizabeth offered.

Jennifer shook her head. "No. You're both off today. If anyone asks, I'll say you both caught the flu or something. It isn't anyone else's business anyway." Jennifer told her.

Elizabeth looked like she was going to argue, but then she nodded mutely. John carefully slid off the table and the subdued pair left the infirmary, missing the worried looks their friends exchanged.

* * *

 

John followed Elizabeth as they walked back to their quarters. They had a lot to discuss and a public place _really_ wasn't the best venue for the type of conversation they were no doubt about to have.

John was continuing to have a hard time reading her body language. Before today he would have said he was pretty good at reading her. He knew when she was pissed at him, when she was sad and trying damn hard to be strong for the people around her. He knew how she looked when she was upset but choosing her words carefully or constructing a particularly pointed and erudite reply.

John knew how she looked in the morning when she was just Elizabeth and Dr. Weir hadn't yet woken. He knew how she looked when she was sick as a dog or feeling like the galaxy was collapsing in on her. John knew, intimately, how she looked as she came and the boneless, blessed out look of relaxation after.

John loved it best of all when she was happy. Her eyes sparkled in delight. Her manner was open and inclusive and you couldn't help but feel buoyed by her presence when she was excited.

It had been something elemental that had drawn him to her when they'd first met in Antarctica. Deep reflection years later had allowed him to realize that fact. He'd wanted to have some of that simple joy in life. John had been going through the motions, had become isolated and closed, never letting anyone or anything beneath the carefully constructed armor he'd created. Somehow she'd breached his walls, reaching him unexpectedly.

When Elizabeth was happy, everything was right with their small part of the universe. This was an iron-clad fact. She only let herself truly feel that when she was certain all was right with her people. When Elizabeth was happy, John was happy.

It was, if not the opposite of how she was acting now, pretty damn close.

She was walking at a brisk stride and his mental wanderings had slowed his steps. He had to race a few paces to catch up with her. He willed the door open and she didn't even slow as she passed the barely open doors. John closed the doors behind him and stopped. He had no clue what to say or even how to begin.

Elizabeth went over to the enormous floor to ceiling window and stared out at the sea. John waited for her to say something. He sat on the edge of the bed and continued waiting, watching her.

"Stop that," she asked.

John frowned. "What?"

"Stop staring at me," she clarified.

"Okay," John said slowly and looked at the floor. He cast anxious glances up at her but immediately snapped his eyes back down, least she catch him. This was beginning to freak him out.

Considering the level of freak-out he was due since they'd discovered that _he_ was the one pregnant, that was a whole new level of freaked. Defiantly he looked up at her. She'd plopped onto the couch and he could only see the top of her head of the back. No doubt she'd curled up with her knees to her chest.

Elizabeth had been oscillating between emotions since Keller had made her diagnosis. John was sure he'd seen worry, fear, anger, caring, relief and half a dozen other emotions. Now she was closed to him, no doubt employing some kind of super-secret diplomatic-fu that she only brought out when she needed the biggest of guns.

"Elizabeth, I know this is kind of weird," he began. He thought he heard a mirthless snort from the couch. He rolled his eyes. When the hell had they swapped places. "Look, we didn't discuss this ever and we probably should have. But now we have to deal with it somehow. So what do you think?"

"What do _you_ think?" she asked in a perfectly reasonable tone.

John scowled at the back of the couch. He answered her tersely, "Look, don't try to Heightmeyer me or something."

"It's a reasonable question, John," Elizabeth replied evenly. "You are, after all, the one who's," she paused, "pregnant," she finished after a moment. John couldn't name the emotion in her voice. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Don't give me that," he retorted. "You were the one carrying it until whenever."

"I didn't know," she said defensively. She stood abruptly and went back to the window. Her movements were sharp and angry. Elizabeth crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe with her back to him.

"I wasn't implying that you did," he said cautiously. They used protection and her cycle was irregular because of all the stress of her job. There hadn't been a reason to think she was pregnant at all.   
John suddenly felt sick to his stomach again and decided that the bed looked like a good place to just be horizontal for awhile. Vertical was highly overrated. John lay back slowly, mindful of his rebellious stomach.

John rolled his head to one side and watched Elizabeth stare out the window for several minutes, waiting for the nausea to ease. She had crossed her arms and was standing much more rigidly than was normal for her. Considering what they'd just been through in the infirmary, he wasn't all that surprised. What concerned him was the turn of her body away from him.

She was closing off again, retreating behind the various facades they'd spent so much time learning to navigate around to make their relationship work. John sat up slowly, mindful of the nausea that seemed to appear when he moved too quickly. It was weird to think it was his kid that was making him feel like crap.

At the same time, however, it was _his kid_. He scrubbed a hand over his face a few times before rubbing through his hair. He was going to be a dad, with Elizabeth. Which was…really cool. If it lived. And didn't kill him. John didn't want to think about that, so he decided Elizabeth had brooded enough.

"Hey," he called out gently, "you wanna talk?"

Elizabeth's eyes slid in his direction and she sighed, arms tightening further as she turned to face him. "No."

That was stunning to John. It was an understatement to say she was a woman of words. He'd seen her keep her counsel or bite her tongue. Her silences were almost as important as when she spoke. He'd learned better communication from her and had tried to apply those lessons to his command and to his relationship. John knew he was miles from her but he was getting there, and he liked to think he'd been teaching her as well.

He couldn't recall a time when she hadn't wanted to talk. It was scary.

Their current predicament was peculiar but bordered on something he would have found amusing if it hadn't happened to him personally. A taciturn Elizabeth, he decided, was wholly unnatural in a chilling way he was uncomfortable with.

"Elizabeth,"

"Don't 'Elizabeth', me," she snapped. Her eyes narrowed into a glare and her shoulders tensed.

"We need to talk," John's tone brooked no argument. "Now."

"No, we don't," Elizabeth said, turning away in shame. They did need to talk, and they both knew it. Distantly, Elizabeth realized she was being childish, but there were demons she did not want to face. "We don't need to talk about this, right now," she amended, trying to salvage something. She leaned against the doorframe.

"Damnit, Elizabeth. What's wrong with you?" John pleaded with her to tell him. She didn't quite wince when he shouted at her. John had tried waiting, but she was frightening him when he was already scared and he didn't want to admit any of that. He didn't want to push her into an argument, but if she didn't tell him what was wrong they couldn't fix it.

"Nothing!" she hissed back over her shoulder.

"Nothing is wrong," John repeated, disbelieving. He wondered what she was thinking. Was the idea of a child with him that loathsome? The burgeoning excitement he'd felt moments before tasted like ash on his tongue.

"No. You're a bit," she paused, "you're pregnant, but I'm fine. How are you coping?"

"Better than you are right now," John said, verbally striking out against her. He was angry, but still felt like a heel when she winced again.

"I'm fine," she insisted, retreating from him further. She moved onto the small balcony of their room, out of sight.

John tried to rein in his anger, "You don't look fine," he told her. She stepped back into the room.

"I. Am." Elizabeth bit the words out and glared at him from across the room. She was angry. Anger was easy. _But you don't want to be angry_, a small voice reminded her. She let out a slow breath and looked at him with less venom. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Worried," he said, admitting how her felt but closing off from her further. "About you," he added. John didn't know what to think of her behavior.

She glared and he met her with an even expression, not giving ground.

"I'm fine," she insisted. There was real terror in her eyes, behind the layers she'd thrown up against him. He'd seen that look before. Right before he shot Kolya in the storm.

John took a deep breath and felt deep sadness when she visibly steeled herself for the outburst she assumed would come next. He let the breath out slowly and tried to reign in his anger and sadness and disappointment. He was left with his love, which he clung to.

"Elizabeth I don't want to fight with you," John told her, shoulders sagging. He felt a little teary-eyed, but he blinked them away, sure it was because of the hormones Keller had been going on about.

She almost, _almost_ went to him. Her shoulders eased a little before she remembered she was angry because she was feeling confused and conflicted. The burning ember of irrational anger still smoldered in her chest and she resisted the impulse.

"Please don't tell me you're fine when you've got something going on in your head. Don't look at me like that," John said when she opened her mouth to protest. "You don't want to talk this out. Elizabeth," his voice trailed off and she turned away from him again, cheeks burning in shame.

"I don't want to fight with you either. I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just-"

She started and touched her ear-piece, answering the call in a low voice. Cynically, John wondered if she was faking a call so she could leave. Keller had ordered them both off duty today, but arguing with her about that wouldn't get them anywhere. John had had enough arguing for the day.

"I'll be right there," she said. She looked at him with genuine apology and headed for the door. She paused at the entrance, "We'll talk later," she promised him.

John nodded and let his head fall back onto the bed. The faint whoosh of the door behind her seemed to echo in the room.

"Guess it's just you and me kid," John sighed.

* * *

 

Elizabeth didn't notice when Teyla stopped at her office doorway. The minor crisis with the expedition server had been resolved after a call to the SGC and some emergency something-or-others had been ordered. She'd signed the paperwork, but hadn't paid close attention. Elizabeth hated when her feelings interfered with her work, which is why she tried so damn hard to prevent it from happening. She wasn't yet ready to face John and what was worse; she was beginning to feel sick as well.

"Elizabeth?" Teyla called from the doorway.

Elizabeth jumped in her seat and felt foolish immediately after doing so. "Teyla," Elizabeth greeted, a little formally.

Teyla had a knack for getting to the heart of the matter and Elizabeth wasn't ready to examine that just yet. Intellectually she knew she should, but long-buried emotions had risen to the surface. Like zombies.

Elizabeth groaned mentally. She was spending too much time with John.

"Elizabeth, are you well?" Teyla asked as she took a seat across from Elizabeth's desk.

Elizabeth considered being evasive or outright lying, but that was rude. And it would never work. Not with Teyla.

"No," she admitted miserably. "No, and I don't know what to do." Her face scrunched as her stomach turned, "And I feel sick."

It was somewhat liberating to admit these little truths to Teyla. It wasn't the whole story by far, but it helped. She massaged her temples and wondered if she could brave seeing John again, if only so she could curl up next to him on the bed.

"Elizabeth, you do not seem yourself," Teyla said tentatively. The Athosian woman leaned forward, resting her arms on the desk and canting her shoulder a little to the side to block as much of the conversation as she could from the prying eyes of the control room staff.

Elizabeth lifted her head and met Teyla's dark eyes.

"I do not mean to pry, but you seem to have something on your mind," Teyla told her sincerely. Elizabeth looked pale and drawn, but she was acting "jumpy" to use a term Rodney had introduced her to.

"John's pregnant," Elizabeth said. There was no way to say it any more delicately.

"John?" Teyla questioned. She wondered if she'd heard Elizabeth correctly.

Elizabeth would have found Teyla's double take far more amusing if her stomach hadn't been churning, or she hadn't been so close to the heart of the matter.

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes." She folded her hands on her blotter and studied the wall opposite her desk. "We found out this morning. John fainted in Rodney's lab," she explained.

"How did that happen? Is he well? Elizabeth," Teyla put her hands over Elizabeth's folded fingers. "What happened?"

Elizabeth shrugged. She met Teyla's eyes briefly before focusing back on her hands. She pulled them back and began playing with her pen. "It was," she paused, "in me, but I didn't know." Elizabeth closed her eyes and shook her head. "I didn't know, I," her voice trailed off and it sounded to Teyla as if she were having a hard time finding the right words. "I didn't know," she said a third time.

"I believe you," Teyla told her gently, trusting that Elizabeth would tell her the whole story when she was ready to do so. Teyla would have found the situation humorous if it weren't for the fact that Elizabeth was clearly distressed by the news. So distraught, in fact, that she'd lost her normally facile grasp of language.

"How do you feel?" Teyla asked when Elizabeth continued to remain silent.

"Sick," She replied. Elizabeth saw Teyla's stern look and answered the question Teyla had actually asked, how she was feeling emotionally. "I don't know. We never discussed it before," Elizabeth admitted.

"Have you discussed it now?" Teyla asked. She wondered how this had come to be, but to some extent it did not matter. She had faith that it would be resolved in some manner, likely by Rodney. Until then she needed to help her friend who was clearly struggling with a very great pain. Teyla did not wish to pry, but Elizabeth had so few people to turn to for help. Teyla had been in that place before and whatever she could do to help, she would.

"Not exactly," Elizabeth replied.

"What does John think? Where is he?" Teyla asked. She now suspected Elizabeth was hiding in her office from him. "I cannot imagine John would be unhappy," Teyla ventured when Elizabeth made no reply. "He loves you very much."

"He's still in the room. We had an argument, but I got called up here," Elizabeth admitted.

"You should go talk with him," Teyla encouraged. "I cannot imagine this is easy, though I wonder if this is not harder on you," Teyla mused after Elizabeth made neither response to her suggestion nor movement to go see her lover.

"Me? Why would it be harder for me?" Elizabeth asked. "This doesn't usually happen to men."

"True," Teyla ducked her head in agreement. "But you've had something very precious taken from you." Teyla didn't miss the way Elizabeth's hands clenched.

"I didn't-"

"No," Teyla said cutting her off, "But you do now."

Elizabeth drew a shaky breath and closed her eyes. She told herself it was the hormones making her feel so uneasy. She reminded herself she had to be in control and sought calm. She bitterly hated the tears that threatened to fall.

"Elizabeth," Teyla called out, her heart breaking for her friend.

"I could lose him," Elizabeth admitted when she thought she could speak again. "I don't know that I could face it like this. If he were to-to die off-world? I could handle that." She wiped a surreptitious tear and looked at the ceiling. "But not like this."

"Because you would lose them both?" Teyla offered as an explanation. She suspected Elizabeth wasn't being entirely candid with her. However, Teyla was not ultimately the person Elizabeth needed to speak with now.

Elizabeth shrugged, words failing her once again this day. She didn't want to go back and see John. She'd embarrassed herself enough in front of him today. Elizabeth chastised herself for feeling a little resentment toward Teyla for pushing her to go back and talk with him for pushing her to examine her feelings before she felt ready.

"How do you feel aside from fearing you may lose John and your baby?" Teyla asked, cutting to the heart of the matter unerringly.

"Sick." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I guess I haven't been feeling well the past few days," Elizabeth admitted, "a bit run down, maybe? But my job is stressful and it happens sometimes. It didn't get really bad until a little while ago." Privately, Elizabeth wondered if she didn't feel worse now because she knew the cause.

She laughed sadly. "John saw I was feeling a tired so he kept trying to convince me to let us take a day off together." She shook her head, "he kept arguing that I was going to make myself really sick and I'd miss more than a day if I didn't take a break on my own."

"He cares," Teyla said.

Elizabeth nodded. "God knows why, but he does." She missed Teyla's look of concern in response to that statement.

Deciding she needed to be specific or Elizabeth would dodge away once more, Teyla asked, "How do you feel about John being the one carrying your child now?"

"I don't- relieved? A little?" Elizabeth answered honestly. She frowned, trying to consider how she felt. "Shocked? Confused? Worried? Teyla, I don't know."

"Perhaps jealous?" Teyla offered. Elizabeth scowled at the corner of her desk. "Am I correct in assuming that Rodney and Dr. Keller are trying to figure what to do?"   
Elizabeth nodded, but said nothing.

"Do you want it back?" Teyla asked bluntly.

Elizabeth looked at her with wide eyes, startled by the question. She'd been avoiding examining her feelings about the prospect of once again carrying the child she now knew about. She didn't know how she felt. Elizabeth was feeling so much it all rolled together and combined with her still twisting stomach into a nauseating panic.

"Elizabeth you should go speak with John," Teyla insisted. "You need one another no matter what you decide to do. He _loves_ you."

Teyla sighed when Elizabeth stood abruptly and walked to the other side of her office. She gazed out the window in the corner, watching the play of light on the spires of the city. Teyla approached her, trying to decide what to say. Elizabeth needed to work out what was at the root of her distress and John was the person to help her.

"Elizabeth, you and John love one another very deeply. A child conceived in such love is a blessing to you both. Do not fear it," she put a tentative hand on Elizabeth's shoulder and was pleased when she didn't flinch or move away.

Slowly, Elizabeth nodded. She took another hitching breath before she squeezed Teyla's hand.

"I'll go find John," she finally relented. She needed to. She'd apologize and maybe he'd understand. What Teyla said was true: they loved one another.

Teyla breathed a silent sigh of relief as she squeezed Elizabeth's bicep. "Do you wish for me to walk with you?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Thank you, Teyla."

"It will all be well," Teyla reassured her. As Elizabeth drew away from the window, she followed her friend. "It will work out."

* * *

 

John slouched in his chair and stared at the other half of his turkey sandwich. He'd changed back into normal clothes and had wandered up to the mess hall when his stomach had abruptly gone from "no, food no way!" to "Feed me now you callous bastard or I will digest your spleen."

The turkey sandwich had looked good and was mild enough he was sure it wouldn't make him feel sick again. He'd steered clear of the far-too-pungent coffee and forgone the wiggly jell-o. Today's salad dressing selections threatened to remind his stomach that it hadn't wanted food half an hour ago, so he steered clear of that as well.

Elizabeth had stayed in her office but John wasn't surprised. The argument hadn't sat well with him, but she'd promised they'd talk before she'd left. If she didn't keep that promise he'd have her down in the infirmary for alien possession. Or something.

Rodney dropped into a seat across from him. Ronon followed soon after, taking a seat at the third side of the small rectangular table John had chosen for its solitude.   
Rodney had grabbed both the Italian dressing for his salad, the meaty-smelling spaghetti and a steaming mug of coffee. John leaned back a little further in his chair.

"You're a huge pain, you know that?" Rodney stated.

"Nice to see you too McKay," John retorted. "Tell me you found something useful?"

"Nope." Rodney said before spearing his salad. "Everyone else who was investigating that new section of the city checks out." He gestured vaguely with his fork and droplets of dressing few in John's direction. One landed next to his tray and exuded an unappetizing odor.

John wiped at the spot and tossed his napkin onto his empty tray. The sandwich had been good and he was contemplating another. Maybe he could take it to go and eat back in his room, well away from McKay's lunch.

"What about other places? Off world?" John asked.

"Everyone who's been off world in the past few weeks seems to be fine," he told him. "Or at least no one's come in to the infirmary yet."

"How 'ya doing?" Ronon asked.

John shrugged. "Sick mostly. It's all a bit weird. Wait, how do you know what I'm talking about?" he asked Ronon.

"A bit weird? Huh, that's an understatement," Rodney said between bites. "You're pregnant Sheppard. That's bizzarre. Even for this place."

John glared. "Say it a little louder, why don't you?" he said to Rodney then glared at him. "You told Ronon?"

McKay scowled at the Satedan, "Thanks for not saying anything,"

Ronon shrugged, and John glared at them both. "This doesn't go further," he insisted.

"Look, it was kind of an accident," Rodney said. "And I didn't think you'd really care if Ronon knew."

"Rodney!"

"He's part of the team!" McKay protested defensively. "And he's big enough to help Elizabeth hold your hand in labor," he added with a small smirk.

"Hey now," Ronon said, holding up a warding hand, "I don't want to be involved. I plan on being off world."

"Way to be supportive," Rodney joked.

"Have you been at a birth?" Ronon asked, brow arched.

McKay's grin faltered. "Well, no. I mean I've seen it on TV, but-"

"Sitcoms don't count, McKay," John growled.

"My sister had kids," Ronon said, reflecting on the past. John and Rodney both shut up because it was rare that Ronon offered any kind of insight into the man he was before he became a runner. "I had to sit with her once. Kid was early and her husband wasn't there yet." He noticed they were both looking at him and he shrugged. "I'm not going to do that for you Sheppard."

John quirked a brow, "Thanks," he joked back. A wrapped muffin landed on his tray. John looked at it then looked up when a second landed next to the first. McKay smirked back.

"You're eating for two. I thought the kid might appreciate something better than just a turkey sandwich." McKay looked over at Ronon with a smug grin. "I'm the cool uncle," he declared.

"I have a sword," Ronon baited.

"Oh, come on! A sword isn't nearly as cool as-" he was interrupted by the clearing of a throat. The men stopped talking and looked up to see Katie Brown leading a group of women. Laura Cadman stood at her shoulder. She had a mischievous look in her eye. John paled.

Katie Brown focused on Rodney. "Rodney?"

"Y-yes? Katie, uhm hi."

Katie looked a little embarrassed. "We were just having lunch and we couldn't help but overhear,"

"Sheppard, are you knocked up?" Cadman broke in with a grin. Katie rolled her eyes but shrugged and looked at him.

John groaned and rubbed his face with a hand. "Tell, me this isn't happening?"

"Oh, my god. You are," Cadman said, taken back.

The group burst into questions and comments and soon the conversation had spread to the whole mess hall. John glared at Rodney. A table full of Marines heard and burst into laughter. Rodney gulped and wondered if John would kill him there or if he'd wait and kill him in his sleep

"What happened?" Katie was asking him. Dr. Parrish looked confused. Lorne sat down heavily across from him with a grave expression, as if they'd just announced John had inoperable cancer.

"Sir?" was all he said.

"Was it an alien?" someone else asked.

Dr. Kusanagi had a bewildered expression and Dr. Cole was appraising, as if she wanted to drag John down to be poked and prodded under a scanner. Dr. Biro broke out of her momentary stupor and began to chat animatedly with Dr. Esposito.

Kate Heightmeyer slid into the seat next to Rodney, her expression matching closer to Lorne's. "John? Is it true? Do you want to talk?"

The Marines crowded in as a group and John felt suddenly claustrophobic. There were too many people pressing in on him, some still had lunch, some were wearing really strong perfumes and after shaves. How the hell did people have these things in Atlantis?

Rodney leaned over the table. "I'll fix it." He promised, realizing that he was the cause of the commotion. "I promise I'll find out what happened and we can fix it. Just don't kill me."

"Fix it, Rodney," John grated. Rodney fled, abandoning his lunch.

"Tell us what happened?" Katie Brown asked. John shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it, and he didn't know what had happened. He didn't know if Elizabeth wanted to be brought into this. There was so much unsettled between them, he didn't want to speak.

"Is it some hot Alien chick's?" someone in the back asked. The chill of John's look silenced a few in the crowd, but most couldn't see.

"He wouldn't cheat!" someone else defended him. John was beginning to feel sick again.

"Maybe he was raped?" someone else suggested. That got a lot of sympathetic "ohhhhhhs". John's headache was growing.

John was drowning in the sea of conversation. He looked for help. Ronon looked as overwhelmed as John did. Rodney had fled. John couldn't see Teyla anywhere. Lorne had shaken off his shell shocked look. Now his traitorous deputy officer had the gall to look amused. John's head sank into his hands and the voices washed over him, speculating and joking, and offering advice and commentary.

"Excuse me," Elizabeth's cool voice of authority cut through the din. The crowd eased apart and settled down. John looked up and caught sight of her. She had her smooth, "what-is-going-on-here?" face on. John clung to it like a dying man.

"Colonel Sheppard is pregnant," some brave soul told her. John couldn't tell who it was.

Elizabeth arched an elegant brow. "I know," she said. She made her way through the crowd, Teyla following serenely in her path. The murmurs rose around her and she quelled them with a cool glance.

"You know?" Dr. Biro asked.

"It's mine," Elizabeth explained evenly.

"Oh," Dr. Biro blinked. "What-"

"It isn't your business," Elizabeth sated firmly. She looked around the crowd so they got the picture that it wasn't anyone else's business. "This isn't a joke," she said. "This is a serious medical matter. Give him the privacy and respect you'd want for yourself. Any of you." Her eyes fell on some of the more jocular male marines. As a group they dropped their eyes and looked a little ashamed.

The crowd around the table broke up as Elizabeth reached the epicenter. Ronon stood, and the stragglers scattered back to their tables. John thought he could finally breathe.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked him.

"I will be," he told her. The headache was still there, but it too was beginning to fade.

"What happened?" she asked, running her hand over the side of his face while her eyes examined him critically.

"Rodney was joking a bit too loudly. Some people heard." He sighed and leaned in to her touch. "I didn't want to say anything, and I'm feeling really sick right now."

"Still?" Elizabeth asked as she sat in a chair. John nodded slowly. "We'll just sit for a moment, then go home."

"Right," John agreed.

Elizabeth was aware that practically every eye in the mess hall was on her and John, but she pointedly ignored them. Her personal life wasn't for the enjoyment of others. It certainly wasn't a laughing matter. Elizabeth tried to calm herself. It wasn't their fault, really. They weren't in her position. They didn't have nearly as much to lose as she did.

Teyla squeezed her shoulder. Elizabeth met her eyes and gave her a small smile of thanks. Teyla inclined her head, understanding that Elizabeth wanted to be alone with John for the moment. She withdrew from the room, taking Ronon with her.

John shifted in his chair, bringing her attention back to him. "Can we go?" he asked. He still looked green around the edged, but the weight of the eyes on them was uncomfortable for them both. She nodded and took his hand.

* * *

  
Elizabeth dropped his hand a few steps into their room. She moved to stand by the window again. He wondered what she was thinking about when she looked through. Did she want to escape? To leave? His heart ached at the thought, but he'd gladly choose her if he had to make a choice. But then she'd just defended him, defended them both. He smirked to himself. She'd defended his honor this time. Like so much of this situation, it was almost funny.

"Elizabeth? We need to talk this out," John said as he sat down. He wasn't going to let her go this time.

She looked at him with a miserable expression. "I don't want to," she said in a small voice. "We should though," Elizabeth finally admitted in a firmer tone.

John eased out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Yeah, that'd probably be good," he drawled casually, reverting to old habits. Elizabeth stepped away from the window and began a slow circuit around the room.

"What are you thinking?" Elizabeth asked as she walked past him.

"What am I thinking? I'm thinking this is really weird," he rubbed the back of his neck, "but beyond the weird thing? I'm kinda worried. I mean I don't want to die or whatever." he admitted.

Elizabeth stopped on the other side of the room and leaned against the back of the couch in the small sitting area by the front door. Her arms remained crossed defensively in front of her.

John dropped his hands and rested his forearms on his thighs, hands clasped in the space between his knees. He looked up at her across the room and wished she was closer physically and hell, emotionally. He had no idea what she was thinking.

"It's ours," he said. He shrugged and stared down at his hands. "I don't want to, you know, be hurt," he began to explain. "But it doesn't know its doing something wrong, it's completely," he trailed off, unable to voice his thoughts and emotions. "It's ours and I just," he stopped talking, trying to find a way to assemble his thoughts coherently. He pouted in frustration and blew a puff of air. A couple forelocks of his spiky hair wavered in the breeze.

Elizabeth left the couch and drifted forward. She stopped a few feet in front of him. He studied her shoes, as if they might reveal the way to say all that he was thinking and everything he felt. There was no epiphany in the black boots she wore. John looked up at her, searching for an answer there.

Silently Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed next to him, further away than he'd grown accustomed to. The inches were a gulf between them.

"I want to keep it," he told her honestly. He held out his hand hoping to cross the distances between them. He waited for a minute, unsure if she'd take it or not. John was almost convinced she wouldn't when her fingers twined around his own. Her palms were sweaty, betraying how nervous she must be feeling.

"I don't like this," Elizabeth said. She shifted slightly closer to him. "I-" she paused, and bit her lower lip. "I've been here before," she admitted in a small voice. "I was young and stupid," she said bitterly. "I took the test Friday evening. Sunday afternoon it was gone," she told him, each word sounded like it was being forced from her.

John slid over so he could rub small circles on her back with his free hand. Elizabeth gripped the edge of the mattress so hard her arm was shaking. "I've never told anyone," she admitted, head dropping forward, hair cascading down to hide her face. John dropped a kiss on her shoulder and she didn't quite flinch away. "No one knew. It isn't in my medical file. I couldn't," her voice trailed off.

John turned her gently and held her as silent tears fell onto his shoulder. Her aloof attitude made more sense now. He had questions, but those could wait. Elizabeth buried her head into the crook of his shoulder and clung to his shirt. John held her while she collected herself.

"I don't want it to die," she finally said.

* * *

John woke hours later. The sun had set and the soft glow from the city lights gave the room faint illumination. He'd sprawled in his sleep and lay on his back. Elizabeth was curled around his side, one leg thrown over his, head pillowed on his shoulder, arm across his chest. He looked over to see if she was sleeping. Her open eyes glittered in the darkness. She hugged him closer then let her hand stroke his chest.

They'd grown used to sleeping practically on top of one another during the time when they'd only had the small dorm-like beds present in this section of the city. When it became clear that this was more than just a fling, John had bribed Rodney and Ronon to help him move his bed into Elizabeth's room while she was working late one evening. Some creative carpentry had merged the two units into one. The extra space had allowed them to finally sleep comfortably side by side, but difficult situations drove them to sleep closely.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily. She'd fallen asleep first, exhausted and emotionally wrung out from telling him intimate details of her life she'd shared with no one else, but he'd followed soon after. His current medical…situation aside, helping share her emotional burden had been tough. John thought he could take it though, or anything else she needed his help with.

"It's just after ten," Elizabeth told him, brushing a kiss against his chin. "I've been thinking,"

"Yeah?" John asked. "'bout what?"

Hesitantly, Elizabeth told him, "We're due in March. Sometime around my mother's birthday." Her hand stilled momentarily then tentatively slipped down his chest to rest on his abdomen over the spot Keller had shown them. She giggled suddenly and withdrew her hand to cover he mouth. Elizabeth drew her knees up, curling into a ball as her shoulders shook with laughter.

Relieved she wasn't crying anymore, John rolled over on to his side and grabbed her hands, gently tugging them away from her face. He knew she probably still had issues to deal with, but he'd make her go see Heightmeyer later. Right now, he was good with giggles.

"What?" he asked.

"Sorry," she said, fighting to keep the grin off her face. "I just had a mental picture of me finally introducing you to her."

"Do tell," John asked dryly.

"Well I just pictured what her reaction would be if I walked in to her house and said "Happy birthday Mom! I got my boyfriend pregnant." and then you walked in and you were...big."

John rolled his eyes and groaned. "Big like...huge?" He whined when she nodded, eyes shining.

Elizabeth pouted at him and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh."

"Nah," John protested. "It's nice to hear you laugh." he pressed a kiss to her temple and rolled back so she was once again half sprawled over him. "So what would you mother say?" he asked, wagging his eyebrows.

"Once we explained everything, she'd fuss all over you." Elizabeth abruptly sobered again. "She's always wanted me to give her grandchildren." She dropped her eyes and became very interested in the front of his black shirt. "I avoided her for a month after I lost the other one." She hadn't shared that with anyone either.

John's arms wrapped around her and she let him hold her. It was nice simply to be held.

Elizabeth was still convinced she'd put the miscarriage behind her, but telling John had been unexpectedly liberating. The experience had been an emotional rollercoaster she'd decided she never wanted to repeat again. This experience was close enough to dredge up a lot of feelings she wasn't wanted to ever examine again.

She'd been working on her doctorate and had celebrated a rare free weekend. It had been a one night thing and she'd thought they'd used protection. When she'd been late she'd taken the test and her neatly ordered world had spun into unwelcome chaos.

Elizabeth hated it. She hated her date. She hated herself.

The negative reaction was immediate and heartfelt and she knew she couldn't make herself change her opinion. She'd taken a casual stroll through the mall to clear her head. There she witnessed a dozen or so young mothers pushing strollers around, or with young children in tow, or arriving and departing with their mini-vans. It had filled her with fear. Even the mothers who looked happy rather than tired or over stressed or wishing they were somewhere, anywhere else. She'd wanted to crawl out of her own skin and just run, far, far away.

A part of her knew it was best to know her own mind on this matter. She already resented it for possibly upsetting her plans. She _knew_ that resentment would only continue to grow as more chaos was inflicted on her life.

Another part kept telling her she was a horrible person, that this was a miracle, that this was what she was supposed to do and it should be welcomed. She was somehow less than a woman for not immediately being anything less than completely and utterly happy.

She shut out the second voice, suppressing it until it was only the faintest of murmurs, chiding her for wanting a career, for daring to have plans for herself that didn't include children, fatherless or not.

Resolved, Elizabeth was still at a loss over what she should do. Tell the father? Not tell the father? Have an abortion? Give it up for adoption? She didn't want it, but she wasn't sure she was completely comfortable with the idea of ending the pregnancy. Yet the thought of carrying it to term made her feel ill in a way she was sure had nothing to do with morning sickness. She wanted neither the stigma nor a knock on her door in twenty or thirty years time and uncomfortable questions. Heaven forbid if she actually did go into politics. Someone always found the skeletons.

Elizabeth had spent the next twenty-four hours carefully making lists and weighing her options. She tried to architect a plan to enforce order back into her life.  
Then the choice had been taken out of her hands.

Her research had told her that it wasn't an abnormal amount of blood and as long as she didn't feel any serious pain, she didn't even have to see her doctor. She'd felt relief. And guilt. The guilt made Elizabeth angry, which fueled her determination. It had been the worst three days of her life until the Storm the first year in Pegasus.  
Elizabeth had shared this with John and he'd just listened quietly. She didn't know what she expected when she was finally able to bring herself to meet his eyes. Pity? Judgment? Disgust?

What she found was support. Elizabeth fell in love with him just a little bit more.

Then the tears had started in earnest, because she so badly wanted for this to work out.

Elizabeth had been thinking in the dark while John slept. The situation still terrified her, but she was more frightened of losing it. She had a lot more to offer now than she had a decade ago, but more than that, there was room in her life for a child. It'd be a tight fit, but she was surprised to find she wanted to make the effort. After all, she'd made room for John and the world hadn't ended, it had just changed for the better. Along with the freedom of these realizations came the nagging voices of doubt. She'd been drawn into a very dark place just before he'd woken.

"Do you think it's in you because I couldn't keep it?" Elizabeth asked, trying to maintain an even tone, to hide her feelings of inadequacy and fear.

John had been running through the events of the past week, trying to pinpoint a time when the transfer could have taken place. He was hoping he'd be able to figure it out and things could be set right without anyone knowing. John wasn't too proud to admit it wasn't a little embarrassing. Oh, sure, he probably should be a bigger man and not feel that way, but he couldn't help it.

Elizabeth's question blindsided him. He frowned at her in confusion before he was struck with sudden insight.

"No," he reassured her. "No, I think this is just as random as the rest of the crazy stuff that happens out here." John nuzzled the hollow behind her ear and left a kiss there. "Nah I bet I was thinking too loud around some broken Ancient doohickey that lost its warning label."

Elizabeth's brows rose and she favored him with an arch look. "Doohickey?" she questioned his choice of words, grasping at the humor like a life preserver.

"Hey," he said, mock glaring back at her. "It's a great word. General O'Neill uses it," he told her loftily.

"Dr. Weir," Jennifer Keller contacted Elizabeth over the radio.

"Yes, Jenn?" Elizabeth responded, sitting up on the bed.

"Elizabeth we have a problem down here and I think it might be related to your situation," Jenn explained. "Could you and Colonel Sheppard come down here. Dr. McKay and I think we might have a partial answer."

"We'll be right there," Elizabeth told her and cut the connection. John looked up at her from his prone position and waited for her to fill him in. Elizabeth got to her feet and straightened out her shirt. "Jen says she has a situation, but that she and Rodney might have a partial answer."

"Great," John grinned, rolling to his feet. His face went slack and he wobbled before Elizabeth could dart under his arm. He was heavier than she was but when his legs gave out she was able to directed him toward the bed. He landed on his back with a groan and immediately curled up on himself.

"John?" Elizabeth asked, worried he wasn't okay. She crouched on the bedding beside him and cautiously felt his forehead.

"Stood up to quickly. Sat too quickly. Gimmie a moment," he moaned and fought back the nausea. Elizabeth's cool hand on his head felt really good, so he focused on that. John could hear the ocean outside. Normally he found it soothing since it reminded him of summers at his grandfather's place on the beach. Instead of being soothing, John was sure he could feel the city bobbing on the waves. He wondered if the inertial dampners had gone out or if he was just projecting.

John groaned. Everything was backwards.

He was the one pregnant, and she didn't want to talk. She'd been the one to come to the defense of his honor in the mess hall. He would have laughed if he'd thought he wouldn't be sick over the bedspread. Distantly he heard Elizabeth say she and John were going to be delayed. She was telling Keller about his symptoms in a calm "I will not be rattled" voice.

Gradually, John's world stopped undulating. He sat up very slowly. Elizabeth hovered as he got to his feet slowly as well. That was another reversal. Normally it was his place to hover protectively while the world spiraled out of control.

Finally he said, "Let's go."

Elizabeth nodded and quickly contacted Keller, telling her they'd be there in a few minutes. She paused by the door and held out her hand. John took it. They weren't big on huge public displays of affection. The most they usually indulged in was some comfort when John was recovering in the infirmary from something, or some casual touching at lunch. John needed the small comfort of her hand, and he supposed she needed him too.

They quickly made their way back down to the infirmary. Jennifer Keller intercepted them as they came in and pulled them over to a curtained off portion of the infirmary.   
Elizabeth could hear Rodney speaking softly but urgently on the other side of the curtain. "What happened?" she asked the doctor.

Jennifer pulled back the curtains. "Dr. Zelenka came in a little while ago," she explained. "Lieutenant Cadman came in about ten minutes later. Both were suffering Sepsis."

The people in question were hooked into monitors on beds. They looked swollen and flushed. Cadman's eyes were closed at the moment, and Radek was listening to Rodney, though he looked like he might fall asleep at any moment.

Keller continued to explain, "When we got them under the scanners, we found out that they'd switched kidneys." She held up her computer to show a scan. "There were little organs that we suspect once produced anti-rejection drugs into their systems. Only one of Lt. Cadman's is still working, but both of Dr. Zelenka's and her left one failed."

"Will they be all right?" Elizabeth asked, concerned for her people.

"Once we diagnosed the problem, we treated the sepsis and we synthesized some anti-rejection drugs from earth and started them on those. Fortunately we've got the Ancient scanners. If we hadn't had those it would have taken far longer to realize what was happening," Keller explained.

She smiled, "It's really remarkable what those little organs were doing before they failed." Keller's eyes shone with excitement. "The data we've gathered could revolutionize organ transplantation."

"If they got their organs switched," John said, "do you think it happened when we?" John pointed from himself to Elizabeth and back again.  
Keller nodded. "Yes, Dr. McKay and I think so. We think it happened on the planet the four of you went to a few days ago. There wasn't any other time when the four of you were together in an unexplored place."

"Right," John said, "Lorne had Cadman cover Zelenka while he checked out the ruins."

Elizabeth nodded. "You went with me later because he'd reported some writing."

"Which turned out to be nothing useful," John groused. He shook his head and looked at Keller. "Will they be okay?" he asked.

"I think so. If we can't get whatever technology it was to switch them back, we can surgically remove them and put all four kidneys in their right bodies. They shouldn't even need anti-rejection drugs since we're transplanting their own organs," she explained.

"If their support systems failed," Elizabeth began, "then what about John and our baby?"

"That's partially why I wanted John down here," Keller explained.

"Scanner?" John asked.

Keller nodded. "Please?" she gestured to the vacant scanner bed and John dutifully climbed up. He and Elizabeth waited a tense moment before Keller looked up from her terminal with a smile. "Everything looks good so far,"

John climbed off the bed. "That's a relief." Elizabeth caught his hand again, and led the way back to where, Radek, Laura and Rodney were.

Radek had finally fallen asleep and Rodney was rapidly tapping at his computer. Laura Cadman shifted on the bed and blinked groggily at the group. She grinned when she spotted Sheppard.

"Colonel," she greeted, voice sounding a bit breathy. Keller went to her IV and began to adjust the flow.

"Cadman," John said. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and ambled over to stand by the foot of her bed. "How're you doing?" he asked.

She chuckled. "Better than you are, Sir," she said. "Mazal Tov. When are you due?"

John rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Cadman."

She frowned at him "You're okay, though, right?" she asked honestly.

"For now, at least," he told her.

"Good," her eyes closed and John thought she'd gone back to sleep when she said, "Hey, I got into the pool at 5lbs 4oz." She opened one eye and smirked at him. "If you can make it happen, I'll cut you in."

John gave her a dirty look. "Thanks Cadman,"

"Not a problem, Sir," she assured him before falling back to sleep.

"Think she'll cut me in?" Elizabeth asked, lightly. John's arm snaked around her waist.

"You mean after we get this all sorted out?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Rodney has been talking with Radek and he thinks he knows what part of the ruins it could have been," she explained. "Jennifer thinks that Radek and Laura should be stable enough for a short trip through the gate by tomorrow. They were able to get them treatment fast enough."

"Why'd it switch their kidney's?" John asked. "It seems kind of random."

Keller shrugged. "It might be random, but Lt. Cadman and Dr. Zelenka have the same blood type. Your baby shares DNA with both of you. Those are possibly valid connections."

"It still seems random," Elizabeth mused.

"It might have been broken," Keller told her. "We've encountered a lot of things that no longer work as intended."

John nodded silently. "Can we go back home?" John asked Keller. "I mean if we have a plan, and I'm fine, can we go?"

"Well, I suppose so," Keller told them. "They won't be ready until noon,"

"We'll all go as soon as you've cleared them," Elizabeth decided.

"Tell me if either of you feel suddenly worse," Keller instructed. She looked at John and told him, "You might want to eat something just before you go to bed to avoid being sick in the morning."

John nodded and slid his arm from Elizabeth's waist to clasp her hand again. Elizabeth tugged gently on John's arm and led him from the infirmary.

* * *

John woke the next morning to the sound of retching. He climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom. Elizabeth had pulled her hair into a messy ponytail and was hunched over the commode. She wiped her face, flushed and lay back on the cool tile of the floor. It was then she noticed his feet.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, his feet. Lifting her head required too much energy. Her voice was rough and she was sweating from the effort of being sick. The thin T-shirt she'd slept in was sticking to her skin. But the tile felt nice. Elizabeth pressed her face against it and let it cool her body down again.

She looked and sounded miserable. John knew how she felt. He smiled to himself as he realized that no other guy could really understand what she was feeling at the moment.

John carefully sat on the floor behind her and brushed and errant lock of hair behind her ear. "Doesn't matter. I'm up now." He thought for a moment and realized he was feeling queasy but not so badly he wanted to throw up. "Maybe you should have eaten something before you went to bed as well," John said. "I'm sorry I didn't think of it."

Elizabeth groaned and drew her knees up to her chest. "Not your fault. I didn't think of it either."

John moved so he was stretched out behind her on the tile. He gently pulled her back against his chest. "I know how awful you feel right now," he pressed a kiss to her temple. "Can I do anything for you?"

"This is nice," she said. "Just don't make me move any more."

"Okay,"

"I was doing so well," she mused. Thus far she'd just been feeling a little tired, maybe a little sick to her stomach. But this morning was the first time she'd actually been ill.  
John's thumb rubbed against her shoulder. "What would we have thought of you being sick this morning if this had gone normally," John wondered aloud.

"You'd probably drag me in to see Jenn," Elizabeth said. "And then we'd have known."

"Would you have told me?" John asked. "About the other one?"

Elizabeth shrugged minutely. "I think eventually I would have. I don't know if it would have been sooner or later,"

"Why's that?"

She shrugged minutely. "It's in a precarious place right now. It brought up a lot of feelings I didn't want to feel." She took a deep breath then exhaled slowly. "Since it was in you I could run from it a little."

"And if it had been in you?"

She shrugged again. "I probably would have either reacted the same way, or I might have been worse since I couldn't distance myself." She moaned and squeezed her eyes shut as her stomach turned. John held her while she fought, her entire body becoming tense as she sough control. Eventually her stomach subsided and she relaxed in his arms.

"It's unfair," she groused, glaring at a small crack in the ancient flooring.

"What?"

"I'm still sick and I'm not even pregnant anymore," she explained.

"You might be later today, though," John replied after a minute. She nodded mutely. His arm slid over her ribs and hugged her to him gently. She turned over so she was facing his chest and breathed him in, willing her still queasy stomach to calm.

John's hand rubbed small circles on her back as he thought. He wondered if he wasn't pushing her in a direction she didn't want to go in. She'd said last night that she didn't want it to die, but she'd never said in as many words that she'd wanted to keep it.

"You know," he said, lightly, "if you don't want to continue it-"

"No." she broke in. Elizabeth didn't even want him to finish the thought. "I mean," she frowned and rested her forehead against his chest for a bit while she composed herself.

She was still terrified of the responsibility, of the next eight months or so and what it would do to her physically and emotionally, of what it could do to her position as head of the expedition. But Teyla's words had reached her through the fear. Her breath hitched and she forced herself not to cry. John's arms held her closer and though she didn't quite know why, she knew without a shred of doubt that John loved her. Their baby had been conceived in a love so deep and fulfilling Elizabeth sometimes wondered if she weren't dreaming it all.

Elizabeth didn't want to fear it. "I want to keep it," she told him.

"You sure?" he asked, again offering her the out.

She nodded into his chest, feeling a little giddy. "I'm sure." This was how it was supposed to feel, she realized. It was _right_ now, and before it hadn't been. The situation wasn't all that similar now that she thought about it clearly. Elizabeth could let her life get a little bit more out of control. She had a partner who loved and understood her.

"So this is really happening?" John asked. His smile was a bit watery, but then hers was too. He leaned forward to kiss her, but she leaned back, putting a hand over her mouth.

"I was just sick, my breath is awful," she protested. He tugged her hand and kissed her anyway,

"Don't care," he grinned at her.

Elizabeth smiled and ran her hand along John's unshaven cheek. He hugged her close and let his forehead fall against hers while she ran her fingers along the side of his face. She touched the roughness of his beard, following his jaw-line and went to his ears. Her fingers traced over the tips and she smiled.

They both had green eyes, so that was likely, but they wouldn't know until it was born. Right now all she knew was that her baby had a heartbeat. She hoped it was strong enough to continue. "Think it has your ears?" she asked, focusing on a happier topic than the danger her baby was in.

John groaned, "Only if it's extremely unlucky."

"I like your ears," she told him. "They're"

"Elfin? Vulcan?" he interrupted.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and gently tweaked his earlobe. "I was going to say cute."

"Trust me, they're not cute in elementary school," he grumbled. "You okay to get up?" he asked. She nodded, but held him down when he tried to move.

"Let's just say here for a little while longer," she kissed him again when he looked puzzled. "We're still off today," she explained, eliciting a smile. Elizabeth nuzzled his neck and sighed in contentment.

* * *

When they checked in with Jennifer in the infirmary, she told them it was going to take longer for Radek to recover to the point that Jennifer was willing to let him go off world, than she'd originally anticipated. Since John was still okay, she'd told him and Elizabeth to take it easy.

Elizabeth's idea of "easy" involved doing paperwork. John decided he was still off-duty today and hung out in her office, glaring at anyone who might want to come by and distract Elizabeth with real work or a new crisis.

Half-past noon, they wandered down to control room's balcony, outfitted in their off-world gear, ready to go at a moment's notice. The salty air wasn't particularly bothersome to John and if he watched the horizon, he didn't feel like he was bobbing about on the sea. John looped one arm through Elizabeth's and enjoyed just watching the sea with her.

Suddenly Elizabeth shoved herself away. John looked over in concern and surprise then realized she was being sick over the railing. He swept her hair back and held it out of her way as she lost her lunch over the side. It took a Herculean effort for John not to lose his lunch as well, but he managed by focusing on the fresh, sea breeze.  
When she was done, she leaned against the russet support beam and pressed her face against the cool metal. Her radio squawked in her ear as Keller tried to contact her. Elizabeth tore the unit off and handed it to John.

"Elizabeth?" Keller asked, her voice small through the speaker. John took off his radio for the moment.

"She's a bit sick right now," John said as he settled the earpiece on.

"Is she okay?" Keller asked, worried.

"I think she will be in a few minutes," John said. "Are we ready to go?"

"Yes. Dr. Zelenka's well enough to move. We'll be able to meet you in the Jumper bay in about five minutes?" She asked.

John assessed Elizabeth and answered, "We should be there." He heard the connection close with a small click and handed the radio back. "Are you ready?" he asked.

Elizabeth offered him a weak smile, "No. Not by half," She took the radio back and settled it back on her ear.

Realizing she wasn't talking about going off world he reached out for her.

"I'll be ok," she said as he enfolded her in a hug.

"You will. You've got me," John grinned at her.

Elizabeth smiled and took a moment to compose herself. It'd be ok. It would. She had John. She had friends. She'd be ok.

* * *

"What do you mean you knew this whole time?" Rodney's voice clearly carried over the distance. He'd practically sprinted out the door. His healthy fear of John's retaliation was becoming annoying. Ronon and Teyla had followed quickly after him, but they'd apparently not been able to stop him from asking questions as soon as he'd located the local leader.

"Rodney," Elizabeth called him to task. Rodney subsided.

"Dr. Weir," the local chief greeted her. "Am I to understand that some of your people had an unfortunate encounter with the Ancestors ruins west of here?"

"Chief Imquati," Elizabeth greeted, feeling more at home and more stable than she had in the past two days. "I'm afraid that's the case. We'd like permission to return to the area."

"You have it. I hope your people can be set to rights. Sometimes the ruins work and sometimes they don't," He shrugged sadly. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you why the ruins were dangerous. The thought didn't occur to my son," He looked sternly at a younger man. Cuzoto was perhaps eighteen, and had conducted most of the talks when the expedition had arrived before since his father had been out of the village.

Elizabeth didn't really blame him. She smoothing continued before Rodney could interrupt. "It is partially our fault. We assumed they were unstable when we didn't detect a power source."

"You are welcome to return and you have our blessing," Chief Imquati said.

"Chief, if I may ask, could we disable the device if we find it?" Elizabeth asked. The chief's eyes lit up.

"We'd be most pleased if you could. We lost a number of people in my generation before we understood what was going on. Before, the ruins were places of healing. When I was eight years old they suddenly changed and no one wanted to venture in to see why."

Elizabeth nodded. "We shall see what we can do." The chief indicated the door and escorted Elizabeth outside. They began to walk toward the jumpers. The Imquati were like the Athosians, caught somewhere between an agrarian and industrial society.

"Dr. Weir," the tall man folded his hands in a sign she took for sincere apology, "Please expressed my deepest sympathy and apology to those if your people who have been harmed by our carelessness."

Elizabeth inclined her head. "I will do so. The situation is," she paused, searching for words, "not all that grave. Two of my people have a surgical option open to them if we cannot find what caused it to happen." She explained.

The older man nodded, looking relieved. His son looked relieved as well. "There were others?" he asked.

Elizabeth nodded. "My partner is now carrying our child. He is understandably distressed," she explained with a small smile, "but we're both concerned."

Imquati nodded slowly. "This has happened before. To my uncle actually, before we knew the ancestors shrine was no longer working. He and my aunt were lucky. They were able to get my cousin switched back." He sighed heavily," others were not so lucky."

"I hope we're some of the lucky ones," Elizabeth said as they arrived back at the jumpers. She exchanged a worried look with John while he herded Rodney back into the jumper.

Elizabeth bid the chief and his son goodbye and climbed in after John. Jennifer was monitoring Laura and Radek. All three looked up as the rest came back.  
"We're allowed to go back," Elizabeth said, sitting down onto the bench. John climbed back into the pilot's seat. "It sounds like it's some kind of device that's malfunctioned."

"Why didn't they warn you?"

"Because the guy's kid didn't think to tell us," Rodney said. "I could have been killed!" he exclaimed. "It almost killed Radek!"

Radek rolled his eyes and gripped the seat when the jumper rose into the air. The trip was much shorter since they had to fly this time. It had been an invigorating hike before, but Jennifer wouldn't allow any hiking. They landed in a clearing. Rodney carefully scanned ahead of him.

The ring of rocks that Elizabeth had taken as ceremonial before, she now realized was a line of demarcation. Those who crossed were possibly taking their lives into their hands.

"Huh," Rodney said. "I think I'm getting a power source. Very faint."

"I saw nothing when I was here," Radek said.

"Well, there's something. It isn't on the normal frequencies we scan," Rodney said, distracted by his readings. Radek nodded and leaned in to Laura. The Marine leaned back. Both wore identical expressions of general pain and suffering. Radek's hair lay limp and Cadman has lost her normal twinkle.

"If I go in alone, I should be okay," Rodney said.

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. It was unusual for Rodney to offer to do something dangerous. She looked at John who shrugged. "Okay then. Be careful."

Cautiously, Rodney walked over the ring of stones. He winced on the other side and waited. When nothing happened, he relaxed and went to a carved bit of wall. He began yanking down centuries of moss and ivy, cursing when clods of dirt fell onto him.

"Maybe I won't kill him for telling everyone," John mused, sotto voice. Elizabeth's lips twitched in a small smile, but she didn't want to encourage their childish behavior. John had been surly to Rodney all morning. Though, she wasn't feeling too charitable, he was fixing it.

Rodney cleared the wall and Elizabeth could see it looked different from the others. A section slid out, revealing some cracked control crystals. "Well, it's broken," Rodney said, stating the obvious. "But," he added as he stalked back other to the rest of the group, "luckily for us, I'm a genius and had the foresight to bring replacements."

"Just fix it McKay," John ordered.

Rodney deflated a little and stepped over the line to grab the replacements. He retreated back across the ring, muttering the entire way.

"Last chance to back out," John said so quietly, Elizabeth almost didn't hear him. He didn't want it to show, but he was a little frightened of the circle. It was possible that they could die by stepping across it, all three of them.

Elizabeth shook her head and stepped up closer to him. She wanted to take his arm, or touch him, but he was armed and they were off world. It was inappropriate, and she'd have ample time to touch him when they were home and safe. She had to believe that it would be okay and she wouldn't be left alone. John nudged her with his elbow to let her know he felt the same way.

"Okay I think I have it," Rodney said. His laptop was plugged into the crystals and he was writing things down. Around him, the surviving pylons light up. The light came from under cracks in the grass. The area was a single large machine apparently.

Rodney had frozen when the lights came back on. He looked around and realized that he wasn't hurt. He carefully disconnected his laptop then high-tailed it out of the circle.

"Okay," he said. "Zelenka and Cadman first. It stored the last few operations it did and I think I have it set to reverse."

"You think?" Laura asked.

"Nintey percent," Rodney said.

"Good enough," Laura decided. "Shall we go, Dr. Z?"

"Yes, let's."

Jennifer hovered over them uncertainly but watched as they crossed the line into the machine. This time there was a flash of light. The device powered down and Cadman and Zelenka were left standing in the center, barely supporting one another.

Jennifer Keller started to move toward them, but Ronon held out a huge hand to stop her. "You don't want to get mixed up with them, Doc," he said. She nodded and watched helplessly as two of her patients staggered back across the safe line.

They collapsed on the other side and there was a tense minute while Keller checked them over. Finally she sat back. "I think they're ok," she said. "The portable scanner isn't as good as the ones back in the Infirmary, but they seem to be back to normal."

"Our turn then" Elizabeth said to John. He nodded. They watched as Rodney crossed the line again with his computer. He reset functions and then crossed back to the group.

John took off his gun and handed it to Ronon. He held out and hand and Elizabeth took it. His palms were as sweaty as her own. They stood for a minute at the edge of the circle and John squeezed her fingers.

"Ready?" he asked.

She nodded, "Yes."

Together, they stepped into the ancient device. Elizabeth's world was engulfed in white-hot searing pain

* * *

Elizabeth woke up disoriented. Her body ached and she felt tired. Her stomach reacted to her waking and she took a few slow breaths to try and fight back the feeling. Eventually it subsided and she was able to think again.

The last thing she remembered was a bright flash of light. She felt exhausted and her throat was dry.

"Hey," John said. She turned her head and found him on the other side of the bed. He was wearing scrubs and sitting in a chair. The rumbled infirmary bed on the other side of him had probably been his.

John helped her sip some water and when she could speak she asked, "What happened?"

"The machine knocked you out cold," he said, "It almost got me too, but I managed to drag us out of the radius far enough Ronon could pull us back over the line."

Elizabeth sighed and nodded, letting her eyes fall shut. "Why do I feel so exhausted?"

"Maybe because you were on the receiving end?" John shrugged. "I don't know."

"How are Laura and Radek?" she asked. She did and did not want to know if their baby had survived.

John smiled. "They're both okay." He climbed onto the edge of her bed. "Jennifer says they're entirely back to normal."

"Is," her voice caught and she couldn't finish the question. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to be told something she didn't want to hear. John pressed his lips to hers. His hand skimmed down her stomach and came to rest on her lower abdomen, gentle and warm.

"So, it's okay then?" she asked. She felt shaky, as if the stress of the past two days was suddenly hitting her all at once.

"Yeah," John nodded as he climbed onto the bed. He stretched out along side her and pulled her into his arms before kissing her once more. Elizabeth relaxed into him. John smiled against her lips. "Yeah. Keller said everything looks normal now." he pulled back and pointed over at a pair of monitors. "The top one is you. The bottom one is the baby's heartbeat." John kissed her again. "Safe and sound. Back with mommy," he murmured in her ear, voice cracking slightly.

Elizabeth finally couldn't hold back her tears when she heard John's voice break. It was too much, she was feeling too much. Elizabeth buried her face into his chest and let him soothe her. She'd been holding back and finally felt that she could let go.

John let her cry silently into his chest. Keller had warned him that she might be a bit of a mess hormonally when she woke. Kate Heightmeyer had warned him she might be feeling very emotional. John privately knew Heightmeyer didn't know the half of it.

He was a mess too. Keller had told John that he could look forward to at least a week or so of continued nausea and exhaustion. But that didn't really matter to him right now. What mattered was that his family was safe, John could cry with Elizabeth, so he did: tears of relief and exhaustion. Finally the tears and shaking subsided and John and Elizabeth simply held one another.

"We'll be okay then," Elizabeth said, really believing it for the first time.

"Yeah. We'll be okay," John told her. "So I guess we won't have to do as much explaining to your mother, huh?"

"Oh, we've got explaining to do," Elizabeth laughed. "But at least now we won't need to get her security clearance."


End file.
